I went to the GAY Synogogue!

So I went to the Friday night service, and... I liked it.

So much singing. The Hebrew was a stark contrast to the English singing last week at the SDA church. The Hebrew sounded more spiritual to me, I guess it's what I'm used to.

The cantor's voice was so amazing, I loved all the highs and lows and fluctuations, it was great. It was holy, but liberal. The rabbi's speech started slow and when she was deep into the story, I started to visualize her words, and then it came alive for me. I liked her interpretation of the plagues, "the Pharaoh needed to feel the pain of losing his son, in order to understand the pain felt by the slaves." She related it to life, the world, very nicely, I forget her words exactly. I still don't believe in God, but I don't think that I need to in order to go to the services. I can still have an interest in the morals and not believe anything. It's fine.

There was a group of children from the washington heights synagogue who came to watch, which was awesome, so liberal. There was a couple who came back from Africa with an adopted baby. This little black boy is going to be raised Jewish, at the gay temple, yay! And the couple was straight too! I think the guy might have been trans., but that's my assumption knowing a biologically straight couple wouldn't seek out a gay temple.

I love the idea of a queer religious establishment. The room was filled, at least double the crowd of the SDA church. I didn't know there were so many gay Jews in this city! I might have to go every week. It did something for me to be there. I can't explain it better than that.

Leviticus Sucks!

Yeah I'm half way through.... I can't wait until numbers, man this sux, where's the stories?!

I really don't need to hear exactly how you want me to slaughter this sheep and offer it to you oh god. Oh hell. Where should I put the entrails, the dung? Should I eat it?

My First Time.

So I decided to check out the Seven Day Adventist Church today.

The pastor was very passionate, and very loud! He held my attention with the different fluctuations of his voice, I would say he certainly has a talent for public speaking.

It was pretty much what I expected, though more singing, no lots of singing. It's the same thing as the Jewish service minus the "Jesus."

I really liked the Adventist youth, the idea they have discussion and education, very good.

I feel very energized after this experience, I think I want to join the queer temple downtown. I need to be with my people, I need to worship with them.

I was so quiet the entire day/night, I just couldn't be myself. All those people I didn't know. I don't know if I would ever be able to express myself or talk about the things I like to talk about, or let out a curse word or two, among this crowd. I felt that I needed to be very careful and polite the whole time, and though I can be a sweet girl, that's just not me.

I need to be able to be a good person, the way I want to be good. That would not happen in this environment. I felt so guarded and repressed. Now that I'm home, I can blast some metal and shit.
Home sweet fucking home!

Why should these people die?

Exodus 32:27 "Thus says the lord, the god of Israel, 'Put your sword on your side, each of you! Go back and forth from gate to gate throughout the camp, and each of you kill your brother, your friend, and your neighbor.'"

That's terrible I could never kill my sister, or edrahsor! Even if God told me to.


Exodus 32:28 "The sons of Levi did as Moses commanded, and about three thousand of the people fell on that day."

They did brake a commandment by worshiping the gold bull, but they weren't driven by wicked ways, they just couldn't wait any longer for Moses to get the laws from God. Their intentions were not evil and they don't deserve to be killed.

I mean, how do you know that your neighbor or friend was also participating in this idol worship? It seemed like a random killing of people. It would be one thing if God targeted only the idol worshipers. It's also not fair that the SONS of Levi get to be spared (also sexist).

Slavery in the Bible

Exodus 21:20-21 "When a slave owner strikes a male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies immediately, the owner shall be punished. But if the slave survives a day or two, there is no punishment; for the slave is the owner's property."

Here is where I have issues with taking these words as "the" word of God. That is just cruel, the not-so-good book does permit these terrible things.

Exodus 21:26 "When a slave owner strikes the eye of a male or female slave, destroying it, the owner shall let the slave go, a free person, to compensate for the eye."

Well gee thanks. What if my eye isn't destroyed when you strike it? no freedom?

-I'd rather have my tooth knocked out than my eye. I don't know why the compensation (freedom) is the same.

The Ten...

I'm fine with most of these. I think live by them anyway, except for the swearing.

I do have a slight issue with the "You shall not commit adultry"

I truly believe that the worst thing you could do to someone you're seeing, is cheat on them. It is the ultimate dishonest and emotionally selfish thing to do.

BUT.. the way it is stated in the book, men are allowed to cheat on unmarried women, but women can't do the same. Again, it's sexist.

yeah BUT... If a man is allowed to cheat on an unmarried woman, isn't that an unholy thing to do, she is supposed to save herself, remain virginal until marriage. That must be somewhere else in the book.

There are many contradictions in this book, another one to keep in mind.

Why isn't it enough to just believe?

So I'm having these issues with proselytizing.

As an open accepting human being, it's the spreading of the Christian religion, not the religion that I dislike so much.

Why can't these Christian people believe their religion without forcing it upon people who don't want it?

I am against some of the principles that Christians live by but I accept them and do not force them to live by my rules. It's fine to be Christian, I'm fine with that.

If I don't believe in God, than all those principles don't apply to me. I'm free to believe whatever I want. I prefer to live that way.

You don't need God to be a "good" person. I am the proof of that!

Alright I have deduced from this reasoning that there seem to be two types of Christians in this world: The kind-to-everyone accepting Christians and the ones who believe all non-believers are possessed by the devil and damned to hell.

Let's Sing about it!

Oh man, lame lame LAME. Moses writes a little song about God. Oh he is so mighty and so powerful and saved us that is so nice...

I do think the Lord should be honored for his mighty work, but with a stupid song, come on now.

It gets worse.. Miriam picks up a tambourine and moves to the rhythm of the lame song and all the women shake their little bum-skis.

Plagues

I understand why God plagued the Egyptians, but I don't understand the reason behind some of the specific plagues:

Plague 1: I get why God turned the nile into blood- kills the major source of water
Plague 2: Frogs? why frogs? they don't seem like an evil creature
Plague 3: Gnats- those can be annoying
Plague 4: flies- isn't a Gnat a type of fly? so why now just flies in general? seems a little redundant
Plague 5: disease affecting livestock- that makes sense, kill the food!
Plague 6: boils- eww gross, surprised that didn't work
Plague 7: hailstorm- well with all those boils I would welcome a clearer upper (please kill all my livestock!)
Plague 8: Locusts- Wasn't all the crops wiped out by the storm? what is there to destroy?
Plague 9: Darkness- now we're talking!
Plague 10: Egypt's first born- that will do it, kill people!

Exodus: God tried to kill...

So Moses is taking his family back to Egypt because God has told him to return and free the Israelites from slavery. Get a load of this...

Exodus 4:24 "On the way, at a place where they spent the night, the Lord met him and tried to kill him." We don't know if that's Moses or his son that God was trying to kill, or why? Moses' wife, Zipporah, quickly circumcises the son and God leaves them alone.

So it's probably the son and the circumcision defends him against divine harm.

My question is, why would God attack them? Is it some bizarre, hey you need to be ready for anything training? Or is it because his son was not circumcised, I'm not sure if Moses was either because of the fact that he was raised by Egyptians. He might not have known and this was a little "reminder."

Cry Me A River

Wow. I can't believe the Egyptians wept for seventy days.
Now that's a lot of weeping.

Jacob will be missed. He was very sovereign and lied and was normal.
When Joseph presented his grandchildren to receive his blessing, he switched his arms so the younger child would get his right arm, thereby receiving the bigger blessing. I liked that part. Go Jacob!

That's awesome... he knew what it was like to be the younger child and be automatically undervalued because of it. He was so unloved and overshadowed by the adored Esau, he lied and stole his blessing. I think Issac was as much to blame as Jacob for that wrongdoing. When a parent ignores a kid and chooses favorites, the lesser of the two children always wigs out.

Also.. Jacob does not bless his first son, Reuben, who slept with his Bilhah, nice work. He also denies a blessing to Simeon and Levi (you know the ones who avenged Dinah's rapist and all the Canaanites in the most obscene way, and God did not intervene or punish) Good Work. So the rights of the first born fall on the fourth son, Judah, who slept with Tamar thinking she was a prostitute. He didn't know it was Tamar so it wasn't his wrongdoing. That's right Jacob. He deserves the blessing.

What? A prostitute, isn't that wrong? No. Not at this point in the book. Judah is only "shearing the flock" or spreading his seeds to the "sacred" prostitutes that are supposed to grant you fertility. So typical in the ancient world, men create these selfish "rituals" to consecrate their extramarital affairs. The bible then condemns these affairs with prostitutes later in the book, with the same purpose of regulating sexual behavior (so now prostitution is underground and sleezy instead of sacred).

Yes Jacob rocks. Finally, someone I respect. I know why they cried for 70 days, I'd be cryin' too.

I have officially finished Genesis.

One book down, a bunch more to go...

Proof.

If I ran into a church and yelled "I AM GAY," I would not be accepted.

I guess it depends on the church. I doubt I could do that at the SDA church, they would not love me (or think I require a latta Jesus).

My edrahsor, is that true?

I HATE all the hate

Why do I find so many supposedly "good and accepting Christians" to be the most close-minded people on earth?

I will love thy neighbor as myself, yet I will HATE those who I feel don't believe exactly what I believe.

Why are some Christians filled with so much hate???

I don't hate anyone who decides to accept Jesus as their lord and savior, so why should anyone hate me for not accepting Jesus as my lord and savior? Or hate me unless I accept Jesus as my lord and savior, or like me because they believe that I will eventually accept Jesus as my lord and savior. It is not fair.

I really hate all this hate. It tarnishes everything Christians are supposed to stand for, and makes them look like belligerent A-holes

Sexism Not Homophobia

It is this Sodom and Gomorrah story that is so often falsely used to falsely justify a religiously supported false belief that God is against homosexuality. Even if you believe that this book is the word of God, I have found no proof so far that God is against homosexuals. (what an injustice that is to isolate and persecute an entire population of people because of a misinterpretation, and fill our world with so much HATE)

SO.. God bargained with Abraham and said that he would not destroy the city if there were X amount of good people. Well it turns out they are all evil. The men say they would like to get to know the men who are visiting (angels) better. They are immoral rapists, who wish to violate innocent people, in this case men because that was what was available. Lot offers his daughters and says he can rape them, because he did not want to see the men be violated. During that time, the men were valued more than the women, so it was about sparring the men, not at all a specifically themed story condemning homosexuality.

So it IS about sexism and NOT about homosexuality, certainly not how it is understood today. Rapists do not get into commited loving relationships, they rape. End of story.

Possible Conflicts of Interest

I want to throw these thoughts out there and look back on them...

I feel like I'll never ever be "good" as it is defined by this book. I think I'm a really good person but I do a lot of things that I know are seen as sinning in this book. I still think I'm good.

I would like to evaluate what I believe is right, and critique why that same action is considered a sin in this book. What values are driving them? What values are driving me? Who benefits? At what cost? What commandments are missing?---We need a queer commandment, one about respecting others differences, and what about accepting non-believers as non-believers? As I get to these morals I will discuss this further.

I've been so negative so far because I feel so oppressed by this book. I do enjoy some parts as well (maybe I'll talk about them). Also, I hate the way that women are treated. I have yet to come across a man who knows how to treat a woman. Or a woman I admire.

So far I feel that I would not easily be accepted by a christian, because my interests are too different, and my morals are too different. But we'll see.

I may be going to hell, I'm not sure yet, I still have a very strong interest in reading and learning about the judeo/christian religions, so that's what this is, it's just an interest.